Married to the Hustle: Faith, Love, and Business for Entrepreneurial Couples

Five Self-Inflicted Wounds Blocking Your Productivity and Peace

• Alex & Jessica Fortis • Season 2 • Episode 23

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Are you unknowingly sabotaging your own peace and productivity?

Jessica Rosario uncovers the five most common self-inflicted wounds that derail entrepreneurs—from saying yes too quickly, to overcommitting, people-pleasing, and the constant need for control. Through relatable stories and real-life client scenarios, she shines a light on how these habits can create anxiety, burnout, and inauthentic business decisions.

With a practical approach, Jessica offers mindset shifts and actionable tips to help you set clearer boundaries, reduce overthinking, and move forward with more intention. Awareness is the first step to healing—and it's time to take back your day.
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Alex & Jessica Fortis

Speaker 1

Hello and welcome to the Maximize your Day podcast , a place for entrepreneurs who are building their business in pursuit of freedom and flexibility to do the things they love . I'm your host , jessica Rosario . I'm a New Yorker turned Floridian who knows a thing or two on how to effectively manage your time while juggling multiple priorities . I'm an ex-corporate leader who walked away from my nine-to-five-ish to launch and grow my business .

Welcome to Maximize Your Day

Speaker 1

In this podcast , I share insights on mindset . Welcome back to the show .

Speaker 1

Today I want to talk to you guys about self-inflicted wounds , and the reason why I chose that topic is because , in the past few months with several clients and working on some interviews for the podcast , I realized that this topic just kept creeping up on different levels for different people , right . So I knew that I needed to talk about this specific topic and share some examples

Introduction to Self-Inflicted Wounds

Speaker 1

on how to see these coming and how to prevent them or reduce them , because you know we will always be in a position to stop everything . Right , but that comes with consistent effort . You can't go around people pleasing your entire life and expect that to change overnight people pleasing your entire life and expect that to change overnight . So understanding that self-improvement is a journey , not a destination will really help you apply some of the tips and tricks that we'll share on this podcast .

Speaker 1

When it comes to self-inflicted wounds , there were several things that came to mind , and I'll give you some examples . Saying yes without looking at your calendar that's the biggest self-inflicted wound . Lots of times we commit ourselves to saying yes without really taking a look to see if it's even feasible , and then having to make a bunch of changes or coordinating schedules or making some moves to be able to accommodate that thing that you overcommitted to , without double checking your schedule . And another example is say , have you ever had to return something to UPS or FedEx ? Right , either one , and you really don't want to go to the FedEx store or the UPS store . So you see a truck driving by and you stop them in the middle of the road and say , hey , can I give you this return ? And they're like sure , do you need a receipt though ? And then you respond , no , I don't need a receipt . So you give them the package . Give them the package , and then you start hoping and praying that it's delivered and that it doesn't get lost , because now you don't have a receipt for the item that you provided , or don't have any proof that you even returned it Right . So what are we causing ? Self-inflicted anxiety , self inflicted wounds ? So you see , it can happen in so many different ways and you know I laugh about it now . But this was a real conversation with a friend and she was like , oh my gosh , I didn't even think about that . So a couple of weeks later she was like they received the package . I didn't even think about that . So a couple of weeks later she was like they received the package . Thank God I don't have to worry about it anymore , but I'm sure it was top of mind for a couple of days if that package actually got lost . Either way , I hope that some of these scenarios that I'm going to mention shortly really help you be prepared and have some awareness . As you see some of these things coming .

Speaker 1

Self-inflicted wounds number one can come in the shape of boundaries not having the proper boundaries . And when we don't set boundaries , we're basically giving others the idea that we don't respect our time or that our time is not as valuable as theirs . So it's very important to set boundaries , and boundaries

Boundaries: The First Self-Inflicted Wound

Speaker 1

comes with saying yes when it feels right , saying no when it doesn't , or renegotiating the terms . For example , I had someone recently that mentioned that one of her clients had asked her to be part of an interview in one of her groups , but she wanted her to tweak her presentation in such a way that it no longer became genuine , because she found her to be a competition to her . You see , I am in a big spirit of collaboration . So if you're a business coach and I'm a business coach and we focus on the same thing and we have similar audiences , there's someone for everyone . So I am not in the spirit of feeling like whoever I bring onto my podcast is going to take my clients away , because it's not like that . So what I asked my client was how is this landing for you ? And she said well , I don't feel genuine or authentic . And I said well , why is authenticity important to you ? And she felt that because of her authentic self is why she attracts her clients . So , deep down inside she knew she professionally saying no to the opportunity and open the door to some future opportunities . Not only did she do that , but she also was able to display that she has boundaries around her business and her time and that she's not out there chasing money or chasing an audience , but more so chasing purpose and authenticity , because those are part of her core values . So boundaries is a big self-inflicted wound .

Speaker 1

Self-inflicted wound number two is overcommitting . How many times do we say yes or squeeze it in , or we have a cancellation and then just cram up our schedule because we can , because we have an open spot in there ? Now don't get me wrong . There will be times that you won't have the opportunity to , you know , have some free time because of either some important projects or if you're house hunting . Or you know , have some free time because of either some important projects or if you're house hunting , or

Overcommitting and Control Issues

Speaker 1

you know , there there are certain things that kind of take priority during a specific period in your time . But if you're seeing this happen all the time , then you definitely have an issue with over committing yourself . And over commitment leads to burnout , trust me , I've been there and done that . But it's so important to identify when we are overcommitting ourselves and what are some things that you can shift around and say no to Self-inflicted wound number three is control .

Speaker 1

Oh my goodness , how many of us want to just control everything . Truth be told , we can only control the way we react , the way we behave . We have zero control over other people's action , over other people's lack of commitment or over anything else that has to do outside of you . You can only control . You control the way you react , control the way you think . Other than that , you have zero control . So when we place ourselves in a position of control wanting to control the outcome , control the process , control the planning there are times that we're creating self-inflicted wounds because we're not opening ourselves to being objective , when we're delegating to others , or we're just assuming that someone else is just not going to do it right the way you would and trust me , as a recovering perfectionist , I understand what that looks and feels like . But I also know that I do more harm to myself and to others when I place myself in a position of constant control . So where do you see yourself taking too much control and what are some ways that you can release it ? So that was a self-inflicted wound number three . So that was a self-inflicted wound number three .

Speaker 1

Now let's talk about overthinking , which is self-inflicted wound number four . Overthinking is detrimental to our anxiety , our depression , our triggers , because when we're overthinking , we're overanalyzing the situation , assuming outcomes , assuming worst case scenarios and truly not going

Overthinking and Making Assumptions

Speaker 1

all in and enjoying the process . There are so many different ways that we tend to overthink whether it's a presentation that we're going to be speaking into , whether if nobody shows up to your live event . Or how about if too many show up to your live event and you have no added support , but you won't know until you go through it . So when we overthink , we tend to cripple our own success . It's almost like self sabotage . When we place ourselves in a position of overthinking , we are basically coming up with all of these fake scenarios that only live in our heads of what a specific outcome is , and that really causes us to come to a hold . Have you ever heard the term of being stuck ? Well , that term comes up a lot with my clients , particularly when we are overthinking . So overthinking is definitely a self-inflicted wound . A self-inflicted wound .

Speaker 1

And lastly , self-inflicted wound number five is assumptions . Have you ever had a meeting scheduled and you've assumed what the meeting is going to be about , what the topic is going to be , how the person's going to react , how the person will respond , what will the outcome even be ? Right and and we're all guilty of this . So , for example , you send someone a text and they haven't responded . So you start assuming did I offend them ? Are they mad at me ? Are they trying to figure out what to think or how to respond , especially if you're using an iPhone and you could see the little bubbles right as if they're replying ? But they're taking a very long time and you start to make assumptions of what's going through that person's mind .

Speaker 1

But then , as it turns out , they didn't respond right away because they either got an incoming call or they didn't see the alert . If you had your phone open , chances are your phone won't ring with an alert coming in , especially if you're multitasking . So you didn't see it right away , right ? So the person didn't see the message . It's not that they weren't planning on responding , it's not that they were mad at you , it's not that they were offended by your message . They just didn't see your message . Or you know they got a call coming in or you know something else that was more important to precedence at that given time .

Speaker 1

But we tend to make all of these assumptions , right ? And in today's world , where we do everything with our cell phones and basically , you know , have these full on blown text conversations , a lot of the message can be misinterpreted and we create assumptions that are untrue and until we speak about them , we just won't know truly what was going through each other's mind . Because there's one thing I can tell you for sure I am not a mind reader . Therefore , when I find myself in a position of assuming , I pause , take a moment , see if I wrote something wrong , or you know whatever the case may be , and if not , I just wait for a response . Or if not , I'll nudge the person and say , hey , not sure if you saw my message , or hey , let's jump on a call , right , because that definitely helps clear the air . So assumptions is a huge self-inflicted wound . And there you have it .

Speaker 1

Those were the five themes that I found myself walking into and navigating between myself , coaching clients and also in some of the podcast interviews that I had in the last few months , which is why I thought I would create an episode just for self-inflicted wounds . I hope that this episode helps you to identify what those are and , in summary , the five self-inflicted wounds are boundaries or lack thereof , overcommitment , control , overthinking and assumptions , and I know some of them intertwine and might sound like one is a duplicate of the other , but they just show up

Summary and Closing Thoughts

Speaker 1

in so many different ways and forms . Are you having moments of doubt ? Are you causing yourself some self-inflicted wounds . I'd love to hear more about it . Definitely reach out to me on all social media channels , jessica Rosario Consulting , or feel free to just drop a comment or review .

Speaker 1

I look forward to sharing with you in the upcoming few episodes . We have some good stuff coming up and I can't wait to hear your feedback . Chat soon , as always . Thank you so much for listening in . Don't forget to subscribe to the show to be notified the second a new episode is released and share with your friends who believe could benefit from listening . Or , even better , just post a screenshot of the episode in your stories and tag me on Instagram or Facebook . I would love to hear your feedback , answer questions and I'm always open to your topic suggestions , so you never know if your topic will be next . So then , until next time , go ahead , maximize your day and own it .